Hi,

I am new to this so please bear with me.

I wanted some advice on how I have been feeling, I will start with my story...

I am a 26 year old with a 2 and a half year old daughter. I feel like I have an unhealthy obsession with her health, safety and well being. When she was born, we both had complications, I heormmorhaged and her blood sugar levels dropped and she was taken to special care. It wasn't a fun day, and to most it would appear that would be what has driven my obsessive behaviour, but I don't feel as though it is. I have always struggled with anxiety, as a teenager I went through stages of it being really bad on and off, and struggled with things I didn't understand and didn't mention to anyone. It is only the way I have been feeling recently that has highlighted to me quite how bad I was when I was younger. So anyway, my daughter since has been ok, she has had the usual illnesses, ear infection, tonsillitis etc. Which have just made me worse. As it is now winter, I am constantly checking her temperature, I would estimate that I am taking it around 40 times per day at the moment, in the fear she has a fever (it is more extreme at the moment as she had a fever last weekend and it has sent me a bit stir crazy). Once she has gone to bed, my anxiety is at it's worst, and I can check her every 10 minutes or so when it is really bad. I have been having my husband sleep on the sofa and she is in the bed with me at the moment as she has a cold and is congested, and it eases my anxiety to be able to have her next to me and for me to hear her breathe. Please note when she doesn't have a temperature or a cold, she sleeps in her own bed.

However, in the summer time, I am equally as obsessive about her getting too hot at night, and can check her just as much. Although I feel it is irrational, I cannot kick the overwhelming urges to make sure she is ok. My anxiety is always heightened in the evenings and throughout the night. I have my suspicions about why they may be there, my husband has nocturnal epilepsy, and had his first ever seizure next to me 5 years ago, which was one of the scariest moments of my life. He then went on to continue having them, and anxiety was so high around night time for many years. There are also a couple of other incidents at night that aren't as serious, once our flat was filled with smoke and the smoke alarms woke us up, a tea towel somehow had caught alight on our electric cooker and we thought the whole place was burning down. I since have become obsessive about plugs, making sure the cooker is switched off at the mains every night etc.

Lastly another thing I obsess about is contamination, I wouldn't say it's so bad that I let it affect my daughter, but I am very wary of indoor play areas etc. That could be infected with illnesses. I make sure her hands are clean once finished playing, I carry hand gel and wash my hands a lot. I use anti bacterial cleaner around the kitchen, and mainly the bathroom, the toilet, bathroom door, and floor. Otherwise, I generally like things organised but do not obsess too much about other things.

None of my issues relate to numbers or counting checks, just as and when I feel I need to do them.

Another thing I feel is important to mention is the distressing thoughts, at the moment I do not act on them (worries of car crashes, life threatening events) but they are there, and are stressful.

I would just like an opinion on what I have to say, and any helpful advice would be much appreciated. I am hoping to be able to control these thoughts, but I will get to a doctor if I feel like they are crippling me for much longer.

Thanks in advance.