I feel for you Todayistomorrow, it sounds like you've been through a lot. In all of the gloom, you can still find light. Despite the monumental effort required to get through this, you can and will build your life back up and breath easily again.

I'm certain that your increase in symptoms post kids is entirely related to increased stress. I found this with my own recovery, not related to kids, but my symptoms would worsen drastically when my stress levels increased, and sometimes this was so subtle I wouldn't notice until hitting rock bottom. I think you need to approach your recovery like peeling layers from an onion. Trying to remove all of the layers at once will not work, you need to address issues one by one. This can be a difficult undertaking in itself, so start by looking at your symptoms and comparing them to the numerous treatments available. Then decide, which treatment will provide the most benefit first. And which treatment will give future treatments a better chance at success, or even accomplish the goals of future treatments.

*I apologize in advance if any of the following is redundant to you*

Action#1)
I think the first area of focus should be to decrease your stressors. This starts with diet, and completely eliminating any foods with processed sugar and refined carbs. Put simply, only eat real foods like meat, fruits, veggies, nuts, etc. Stay away from candies, chips, breads, pastas and other manufactured foods. You need to do this to improve metabolism and insulin. Doing this will drastically improve brain fog and sleep.
Next, substitute coffee with green tea. Green tea contains L-theanine, increases dopamine, and contains good antioxidants. L-theanine will negate the jitters you get from coffee and will be one of many things taken on to improve sleep.
Next, incorporate light to moderate aerobic exercise 5 days a week. Your heart rate should not exceed 130 bpm. Depending on your level of fitness, this could mean doing a 1 hour walk daily.
Next, do whatever it takes to identify and mitigate stresses at work and at home.
Next, incorporate strict sleep hygiene, making your bedroom a refuge for sleep (and sex) only. Never lay awake in bed. Only go to bed when your tired, and wake up early at a consistent time.

Action #2) I know that you've seen a phoney chiropractor, and I belive you cause i've seen phoneys too. But they aren't all phoneys. I think your next step is to see a certified chiropractor trained in atlas vertebrae realignment. This is the crux of the spinal cord and an integral part of the central nervous system. If the atlas vertebrea is misalignment (highly probable following a car accident), it creates all sorts of nervous system-related issues that can manifest into various symptoms. A misaligned atlas vertebrea also pulls on the brainstem, which regulates balance and sensory information, breathing, sleep, among other things. That is why you should address this first before looking at other physio treatments. Get the spinal cord in line and fully functioning so that it will have a trickle down effect for recovery and will not be a source of resistance for future treatments. This chiropractic adjustment does not use 'crunching' methods. It is soft manipulation and should take about 3 - 5 sessions. Only the first session involves an atlas realignment maneuver, while the rest of the sessions are follow-up to make sure your spinal cord remains in line. This treatment will help with your tension headaches, brain fog, noise/light sensitivity, and convergence problems.

Action #3) Take sleep hygiene seriously. A good program will truely be beneficial to get your sleep back in-line. I used to get so worked up cause everyone was telling me i needed to sleep more, but i was suffering chronic insomnia and couldn't sleep. I tried lots of things and the best protocol i found was this $50 5-week program (http://www.cbtforinsomnia.com/).

Action #4) I would bet that a lot of your brain fog is coming from your pharmaceuticals, especially the pain killers. My recommendation is to reduce your dependency on all pharmaceuticals, slowly mind you. Eventually you want to fully come off this stuff as it offers no solutions, just band-aids. I recommend coming down off this and slowly integrating Mark's Vitamin and Supplement plan in the stickies. Although its large, overwhelming and pricey, it will give your brain and body the necessary chemicals required to return to homeostasis. I would absolutely start with supplements that calm the nervous system and that replenish likely depleted minerals (Adrenal support, omega-3, vitamin D, vitamin C, phosphatidyl serine and magnesium). If your budget allows, an accredited naturopath can help create a proper plan. But, Mark's posted plan in the stickies is the golden standard to supplements.

Action #5) Mindfullness practice. This is meditation. Lots of people scoff at it as phoney or whatever. But Micheal Jordan, Kobe Bryant, most sports teams, Arnold Schwarzenegger and all sorts of leaders have incorporated meditation into their lives. It has the power to calm the brain, improve sleep, reduce brain fog, balance neurotransmitters, and all sorts of other stuff. Scientific studies have shown that easy-to-follow 8 week programs actually rebuild grey matter in the brain. There is really no denying the benefits of this. And its pretty much free. You may by a $10 book to follow, or just read stuff free on the internet.

Action #6) Enlist a neuro-optomatrist/opthamologist to provide physio exercises for your convergence deficiencies. Note that these often require a full year of physio to realize positive gains.

That's a start. Your road to recovery will not be quick, but your road exists, and you have the resources available to drive it. Your end goal is recovery and a happy life, and you will get there. Believe in yourself and your resilience, the human body is capable of overcoming this darkness. You have to be adaptable, patient and persistent. There is a full community here to support you.

Lastly, you will likely get other recommendations from people. Always consider, what treatment will give you the best bang for your buck. What treatment will make other treatments easier to accomplish, or make then no longer necessary. These 'umbrella' treatments should always be the focus. Until you have completely dwindled your symptoms away.

Good Luck

Hains