Hello All,

Recently stumbled upon this gold-mine of a resource/support group, and reaching out to share my story and get some feedback on my situation.

In early July of 2016, shortly after my graduation from university, I suffered a mild brain injury due to (as I later found out) a lack of oxygen during surgery. Because I was "cogent" post-operatively, no one investigated what might have happened. I brushed off the dazed state that followed the operation as due to physical fatigue, etc. The daze never lifted, however, and I began noticing cognitive impairment -- mild memory issues, difficulty in comprehending abstract ideas (I was in academia), as well as horrible mood swings and decreased emotional control. I became completely overwhelmed and tearful when when trying to organize/execute multi-step plans, my friends commented that I seemed angry and agitated and simply "not myself." About a month into this I started experiencing dizziness, extreme fatigue, vertigo when attempting to read, horrible night sweats, insomnia and sleep disturbances, and extreme sensitivity to light/sound, with welling sounds in my ears. Alas, given my newfound knowledge of mild brain injury, these early symptoms make quite a bit of sense. At the time, however, I had no idea what was going on, but it felt like I was dying. Both my GP and a psychiatrist I saw, though aware of my surgery, were certain that I was "crazy" and, as nothing was clearly amiss in my blood work, chalked it all up to anxiety.

To pacify me, they prescribed first Xanax (0.5 mg) and then Valium (2.5 mg) to take nightly. When I still couldn't sleep, my psychiatrist told me it was okay to drink wine/beer with the Valium/Xanax. After about a month of using these benzodiazepines, I noticed a dramatic worsening of my cognitive state. At a general level, I began to feel constantly confused and disoriented, operating in a state of complete brain fog. I found myself struggling to comprehend and retain basic information I had read, even from one sentence to the next. In addition, I developed fairly debilitating visual-spatial disturbances. I felt (and in some ways still feel) like I was losing my mind -- I found myself unable to process written information, unable to problem solve, operating in a state of slight detachment from the world. The basic act of thinking has become as difficult as moving through molasses -- not surprising when my entire operating system has become slow and riddled with injuries. Every few minutes, I experience memory blanks -- no idea what I was so intently concentrating on just a few minutes before.

Where I am right now: I finally received a diagnosis (beyond that of anxiety) from a talented ophthalmologist, who deduced that my vision problems were due to faulty processing on part of my brain. When I explained the host of cognitive symptoms I was experiencing, he got to work researching with some colleagues in neurology. The answer (though not the solution, of course) became fairly clear: I had suffered a mild hypoxic brain injury during surgery which was severely worsened by my prescribed benzodiazepine use. Though my doctor claimed to be unaware of it, there are numerous studies showing that benzodiazepine use in brain injury patients both causes further neural degeneration and therefore worsens cognitive impairment and also, in the words of one study, "delays indefinitely" any organic recovery.

Beyond being devastated, I am not sure what to do/expect. I am five months out from the initial injury, and stopped taking the benzos a month and a half ago. So far, every day is a struggle of confusion punctuated by spells of extreme depersonalization/derealization. Trying to find some kind of rehab but finding it difficult to do so without a positive "MRI" proof of brain injury and the non-typical evolution of my case.

Questions: is it worthwhile to seek out rehabilitation therapy? Any ideas on how to go about finding brain injury-savy psychiatrists/neurologists? I live in the SF Bay Area and I feel like I should be able to find some resources, but so far have been thwarted by the insurance company and (like many, in particular Mark in Idaho) original diagnosis of "anxiety." Anyone have experience in improving reading comprehension? I find that I cannot comprehend even children's books, though I can scan through "factual information."
Also, any idea what I can expect in terms of feeling completely unlike myself? I suspect the depersonalization results from 1) actual physical changes in my brain and 2) the fact that my processing speed is slower/there are many pieces which are not working and my brain is constantly aware of how "off" I am.

Advice: I have seen Mark in Idaho's post on vitamin regime and think I'll get started on that. Anything else?

Apologies for the lengthy and panicked post.

************************************************** ************************
Hi all,

Posted a long thread about the details of my case, but wanted to ask a specific question. Has anyone with brain injury had experience with benzodiazepines (Valium, Xanax, etc.)? I was prescribed both Valium and Xanax for several months following my brain injury and found that my previously manageable PCS symptoms became severely worse. Subsequently a specialist pointed out research showing that these drugs cause further neural damage and prevent recovery. Anyone else have an opinion/experience with this situation?

I can't post links here (I am a recent member), but relevant studies come up if one googles "diazepam brain injury," looks up Timothy Schallert, the lead author of one study, or searches for "brain repair diazepam."

Has anyone had experience with benzodiazepines after brain injury? I was prescribed 2 months worth of benzodiazepines (Valium and Xanax) after my brain injury, and found that after one month of the benzo usage my PCS symptoms were dramatically worsened. At the time I didn't connect the two factors as my doctors encouraged me to keep taking them until I found a specialist who told me to stop and explained that benzos have been shown to cause further neural degeneration and cognitive damage in tbi patients and to prevent all organic recovery. Anyone else had experience with benzos after brain injury?