Black Dog back again, deep funk descending. DB leaves in 7 nights, Xmas parties we were attending this weekend he has asked we cancel. Drink he says is weighing heavy on his mind. Says I call it Boo Ha drinking so he won't talk with me about it, his statement last night is I make a joke of how he is feeling about it all. God the last thing I find is it's funny and I would never trivialise his feelings and angst over it. In short, I think with the trip upon him he feels it's inevitable he will drink. I can only pray he doesn't on the journey over there, having been sober for a year coupled with in the air one will swiftly go to his head.

I am in a quandary and I don't know what to do so I'm asking for your advice. DB family are all big (huge) drinkers, they are well known in the village and all in their day have behaved badly, so much so they have a reputation some would say respect, some would say fear. They are / were all very handy with their fists. I've witnessed it myself, driving the car with the two brothers DB & bro in the back, it was summer with the windows down, some peanut trying to run me off of the road, they pulled up alongside me and saw the boys in the back of the car. I clearly heard them say #### it's the ***** boys and broke off leaving me well clear. Anyhow I digress, it's not a life DB has lived for 25 years but his family still have reputation and people are want to buy them drinks everywhere they go. DB family war cry is (I call it that) Ahh one won't hurt you. In DB case one will.

Do I write to his family and say, while none of us can prevent DB from drinking & nor should we hold ourselves responsible if he chooses to, can you refrain from encouraging him?

I can clearly hear in my head his Da saying "one won't hurt" along with the brother & the sister over the years. In the past I've been there and managed to head off incidents except for 2013 trying to make his way home from the pub took a short cut and slipped trying to cross over the low slate fence with iron railings hitting his temple. He lay in the snow for 5 hours before anyone found him, (they thought he was dead) ambulance took him to hospital and the blow to his temple was severe enough to warrant great concern along with hypothermia. Am I worried, you bet I am. Is he worried, yes I believe he is. I feel ill typing this, I wish I was going with him, I am so fearful something bad is going to happen.

So do I write to the family or not? Should I turn up and surprise him just b4 Xmas ? I feel so torn and anxious. DB says he is worried about me falling ill & going to hospital - who will look after the animals he keeps saying. I'm working hard on not falling ill. I'm drinking water (only) 2 days a week and carefully monitoring everything I eat the other 5. I'm in a real quandary ....