If you would ask me what to do - but this is from a total outsider - I would consider cancelling the trip. I know that sounds harsh and impractical, but in this state, going to that kind of environment (you describe it all too well...) could end badly, as you surely know.

I feel emboldened to make that recommendation as I just got news from my best friend that he is taking care of one of his life long friends, whom he needed to take to ECU a few days ago during detox. Turns out that friend has cirrhosis, enough said.

I don't write this to scare you, I write it because I know, for me, there is nothing more important in this world than to stay sober and thus to survive as long as possible. I check every decision I make against the possibility of getting in a bad situation, and take evasive action when needed.

Just a thought: maybe DB feels very uncomfortable too, plus, he is worried about your health. Sometimes, a lie is not a lie, and maybe he "needs to stay with you as you are doing poorly." You could always check if he is favorable to that kind of reasoning? Go next year, when he might feel less vulnerable?

Just throwing it out there, who knows it would be a relief for him too. Obviously, it has to be his decision, but maybe sitting down and considering the options could be a possibility?

Whatever you guys decide, I hope he gets through it in a good way.