When I follow my feelings surrounding my birth, my mother, her pain what comes up are issues around hope for the future. We have a plum tree in our yqrd...it seems to tolerate all manner of neglect. in essence...its got a will to live. It took years before the blossoms turned to tiny fruit ....but, sturdy as the tree is the fruit is more fragile, more susceptible to the elements...wind , deer, water oor lack of , but perhaps most importantly care.

My ancestors were cherry tree planters - I've heard it said that the energy of the cherry tree is hope for the future...perhaps hope is our cure..and ours is a struggle between learning the humility that comes w ith surrender to developing the strength and discipline to overcome resignation. Understanding the nuance between the two I leave to you..

Lately I've been watching the TV series "Rectiify" - chock full of relevant prose and metaphor to my experience of pd. One of the most poignant moments is when Daniel talks about finding his will to fight for himself - as he struggles between surrender and resignation....between having his will utterly broken by cooerced confession and 20 years of solitary confinement for a crime he did not commit just wanting a window to freedom into this world - withh booth feet on the ground...