The biological mother is somewhat in the picture, she's currently taking care of the DGS who the daughter basically threw away immediately following him cutting his sisters hair. Poor little guy broke my heart when I went to visit and he asked if he could live with mommy again after his sisters hair grew back . But the biological mother is also clinically insane. Not the usual crazy ex kind of thing but suffers from a multitude of mental disorders and is on disability for them. So she's not much help, especially when she goes into her paranoid phases.

As for the DH, he feels like he's stuck between a rock and a hard place. At the end of the month the DSD has custody back of the DGD and legally social services can't classify her as unfit until such time as she is found to have placed the DGD in direct physical harm, if we kick her out she takes the kid and disappears and we have no way of knowing what is going on with the DGD. If we let her stay, then at least the DGD is under our roof and we can keep an eye on her make sure she's fed and given proper attention and all that jazz, unfortunately as with all legalities, so long as the mother has the child in a place where she is receiving the proper care and nutrition then she's not an unfit mother even if she is not directly responsible for providing said care to the child. Which means if she stays with us, she can't be found to be unfit, but if we kick her out who knows what will happen to the poor grandbaby.

I mean she already trashed one place to the point of having rats and snakes inside the home, we're not talking the pet shop variety either. She let the DGD go almost a month with constipation until I got the kid into see the doctor and still battled with it for another month afterwards because she refused to feed the kid an even halfway decent diet and eventually it ended with my 2 year old grabdbaby in the ER getting an enema while her mother wanted to go home and take a shower, and still thinks my mother and I were exaggerating that the kid could have died. Her little stomach was so swollen and hard it was like she had bricks just below her skin, the pediatrician didn't even wait after taking one look at her stomach she immediately called the ER and sent us over and only didn't call the ambulance because we could get her to the hospital quicker, but of course my mother and I were overreacting.

Obviously you can see my concern for letting that child any where out of my sight with her mother. But legally I have no choice. And if she takes off someplace with the kid because we kicked her out, it could be months before she gets back in touch with us or deems it worth to try and finagle something out of us by contacting us and who knows what will have become of the DGD in that time frame.

It's a completely muddled mess, that has me stressed beyond my limits and ready to simply kidnap the DGD and DGS and just run away to a non-extraditing country. Problem then since I can't work is convince the DH to come with me, kind of need his ability to earn an income, especially since it's hard to run from the law and collect disability.