I'm glad you are going to see your neurologist. Maybe you can mention the irritability you are experiencing when you see her?

I feel like I made many bad decisions, have wasted a lot of my life, and didn't take advantage of the opportunities I had either

Looking back, I realize a lot of that was driven by bipolar disorder. I was a ****ing mess, and without (effective) treatment, I can't see how I could have been able to get my life under control. I imagine the same is probable true for you, Bobby

I can't believe you lived in Fiji for three months while there was a coup! You have traveled a lot, and must have a lot of great stories. You must have a lot of pleasant memories as well as all of the painful ones.