Haven't seen a surgeon in a while, but mostly because the last time I saw one after they came out with that microscopic surgery, the one that's supposed to be a less than 1" insistion, i was told yet again that I wasn't a candidate for surgery on my back due to the inability to control the spasisity of my muscles through medication. I was taking 5 different muscle relaxants a day each at max dosage and still they just refused to settle down. It was so ineffective that I basically dropped all but the zanaflex from my diet of pills, and honestly there is no change, even taking the zanaflex is more or less a just because...

They've tried all sort of medications to control them, including not narcos and even gave me three shots of Valium when I was in the ER the other day so they could get images because I couldn't hold still with them and still it had no effect... and I didn't even get 'happy' from it, they might as well have just shot me up with saline and been done with it. But we did manage to get the imaging done after tying me down. The left side had to be restrained just for a Ct scan which takes very little time.

I hate my strong resistance to medications, and it's something I've had my whole life, my mom and dad are the same way as is most of my family. I even wake up under general anesthesia, the anesthesiaologist hate me, because they always feel like they're going to kill me trying to keep me under so I don't wake up in the middle of a doctor cutting into me, especially since I can feel it since they can't use locals due to my allergies and pain meds are laughably ineffective. I say laughably because that's about my only pain relief is laughter.

But the images they have taken, the disks aren't infringing on the spinal cord so while they may be upsetting some of the nerves, they shouldn't be leading to paralysis. If they reach that point then they might consider surgery, because the risk:benefit ratio shifts the other way. Right now I'm at a strong risk for worsening my condition if they try to surgically correct anything, but if paralytic then it's kind of a no harm no foul, they can't very well make me worse and could have a chance of improving things.

Medical limbo is where I'm at but oh well it will be what it will be and that is all that it will be.