Dear Sam,

I remember being more burdened by these kinds of questions at your age (I'm 36 now) because at that time I was truly starting to try to find my place in this world. My life was hard. It was very difficult to deal with the world inside and the world outside at once. I can sympathize with you, Sam

I hope that as you develop more and deeper connections to others and start to see a path for yourself in life that these questions will feel less pressing, that you will feel less emptiness. I know that will take time though

I'm glad that you have faith in God. Sometimes its hard to have faith in His plan, but please try

As a side note:
Did you discontinue your anti-seizure meds under the advice of your neurologist or another doctor?