Hi everyone:

It's been ages since I wrote anything. I had stroke number 5 last April. It's been 11 years since this whole parade of brain surgeries and strokes began and I've never had that "Aha" moment.

I still drag my right side, have a stupid claw hand and no balance along with other little annoyances. I could not come back to wheelchair fencing after my back surgery because the required chairback height pressed on where I had the fusion.

So I can now do neither basketball nor fencing. I coach in the local youth league and assistant coach a high school varsity team. I have been licensed and certified by USA Basketball as a coach. (required testing and practical stuff) Some of it is difficult as I need two hands to demo something or do a crouch, shuffle, change directions type thing and I can't or fall over. I still try. I also follow my old college team. (I played for the University of Minnesota in the 70s) Not being able to play makes me ache so bad. I haven't worked in 10 years and there are very view volunteer opportunities that don't require two hands or walking around.

Yes this is a pity party. Telling me "oh just get over it, there are plenty of others who are in worse condition" Don't you think I know that? I feel for them but this is me. I go to a neuropsychologist but I see no improvement. She is the 3rd one. Time to change again? Yes I realize I wouldn't play basketball like I did when I was 20 but I'd be playing. I now live in a 55+ community but these people are so old. I'm about to go around the bend. End of rant.