Eva & Gerry thank you so much for your personal efforts to reach out to me and offer support. I'm hanging in. 5hrs sleep last night, still agitated and my upper back is in a dreadful muscle spasm. Going to try a temgesic & Valium at 8am. Took 5mg oxynorm at 4am, has not made a scrap of difference. Had DB rub some gel on it before he left for work. He was in bed by 8 last night, well after 11 before I could entertain the thought of lying still.

I've not had reactions like this to the steroid injections before Gerry, but I'll take it and hope n pray you are correct. I have an appt this Thursday with my PM and also with the Nevro rep. Definitley don't think the unit is working. If I can't get this spasm under control I won't be going to the office but can work from home.

Edit
7am I've done the necessary required for cleaning up outside (kennels) & I've made an executive decision. I'm staying home, I'm calling in sick (will be the 1st time in 2 yrs) & im not working from home either. Also, I've taken the Valium & temgesic & 2 Panamax now, I'm just not waiting another hour to get this pain under control. I wonder if my PM will be able to give me a targeted injection into the spasm tomorrow? My old PM used to do it in his rooms when I was like this.

I'm still wondering if I need inpatient help mentally. I had a breakdown when I was 21. I felt like I had no support. No one to talk to, no one bothered to listen, no one believed me. I felt like the ground had dropped from beneath my feet. Starting to feel like that again, all I have is here.

DB has a long appt with GP for Friday, might tag onto it and ask for a referral to my old psych, She runs one of the very successful inpatient mental health clinics, maybe she will suggest I spend a week in there, just to get some respite.

I know DB is struggling, so am I, but am I enabling him by all that I do. Roles reversed, he does very little to help me. Is he so far gone he needs inpatient help & by default that will release me, I don't know, I just don't know. I want to cry but there is nothing, I'm empty. And yet all these thoughts are jumbling to come out..... so sorry, don't know what to do or say, not been in this situation before. When I was young I had no responsibilities and going inpatient for 2 weeks impacted nothing and no one. Although I do remember clearly food tasted like sand & smelt of dead ants I lost my appetite completely, so that hasn't happened this time, maybe that's a sign I'm not that far gone!

Another edit
Valium & temgesic not helping, 8am just taken another temgesic & Valium. Not at upper limit of what I'm prescribed so don't worry.