No worries, and I'm sorry to hear you're not doing so well. No rush, I'll be interested to read it if & when you feel like it.

Drums... definitely. The thing that kept me going the last 4 years was switching to the piano and falling in love with music all over again. It's what is keeping me sane. (I'm writing this just before I'm leaving for my piano lesson).

Something like joining a local band to play at parties etc., wouldn't that be a good thing? A band allows you to not just continue under your own motivation, you have to be there to practice even if you don't feel like it. Despite what people might think, live music is very much appreciated these days, warts and all.

Anyway, like I said, no rush. One thing I will say though is that I think the drinking/not drinking isn't really part of our problems. I had decided in rehab that the change was on me, not on the people around me. I had told her (and my friends) that I would feel very uneasy if they stopped drinking because of me. And that wasn't a ploy or something, I would truly have felt bad. The only thing I asked was to not drink whisky around me, but she's more into wine and gin anyway, so that wasn't a big sacrifice. I also promised that, if it would be too hard, I would mention it. It turned out not to be a problem for me.

I will buy her wine in the shop, I will serve guests, it's OK. I'm not feeling sorry for myself, nor "left out". It's just something I don't do anymore. And I know it's not on her mind, because I remember her putting a glass of beer in my hand at a party as she had to go refresh. (insert "Hold My Beer" jokes) I was laughing, told her it wasn't the brightest idea, and she went "oops".