Quote:
Originally Posted by islesftw
Hi Mark,
I know there really is nothing to be gained from the Dr.'s appointment but for whatever reason I feel more comfortable going. Yes, I completely agree it is an obsession at this point but having it on the record in case my employer needs follows up can't be a bad thing. I know it won't accomplish anything as my physical symptoms are non-existent, except for what I am convinced is some memory loss. There's no way to identify it outside of a neuropsych exam, but I know something seems "off" or different compared to before this happened.
I wish I was able to pack up my current job and start anew. I'm not smart enough to do so and I wouldn't be able to pay rent, otherwise. I agree, "stop and think" is a good tool to use in the interim. Easier said, than done though, I guess. I really do hate this for what its worth.
Regarding my age and gender, I am a 25 year old male.
My best,
Islesftw
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Hi everyone,
I am struggling quite a bit today. Out of the two recent "head bangs," the last one did me in more than I would care to admit or care to accept. I have had a constant headache on the left side of my forehead. It's physically tolerable but it scares me that it just sits there for the entirety of the day with varying intensities. For better or worse, my appointment with the neurologist is tomorrow.
More so than the headache, I can't shake this feeling of wanting to die. I know I sound dramatic and I know life is always fluid but I feel like my life is over. The biggest struggle besides this emotional turmoil is how I feel like my brain is "empty" of thoughts, anecdotes, and memories of things that happened to friends and co-workers. I feel like I now have nothing to say to people, whereas before this happened I had an easier time making conversation. Now, my memory is so poor that when someone is talking with me, I can't think of a relevant comment or reply to continue the conversation. I have tried studying current events and thinking of things to say prior to being in a social setting and I even then I forget what I tried to remember. Even just writing this is a struggle to articulate how I'm feeling.
I know I sound childish but I can't help shake this "what's the point" feeling. Like this injury cuts right into who I am. If I can't remember recent stories my friends told me or have nothing to say while having a conversation, why should I care? I have yet to let go of who I was before this happened - I just can't put myself through this during each head bang and subsequent depressive episode. I ******* hate this.