i talked to him yesterday and said i was winding down. I just saw my check balance and i freaked, Part of it was my rent check and part off it was the 700 dollars for the vet. I am doing better even though i told him I am depressed now. we decided to up the plan there is no magic pill. He is trying to get me down from being manic. He has really lessened the antidepressants and it shows. I probably going to spend 250 on taxes and 100 dollars for cell phone minutes. it is all so scarey when you don't have the same amount. at least i don;t have to worry about pudge now. that is a biggie besides future expense. I love that little girl so much. it is so rough when you live by yourself and you are bipolar and sh+t happens. My social security isn't much. I keep on wondering how long i wiil live.