In any event, I go this Monday to see my family practitioner to go over some blood work and no doubt she'll want to put me on statins because my triglyerides are high, but of course they're high because I can't do any kind of exercise, and at this current point in time I do not feel as though the risk to benefit from taking them is something I'm willing to do. But since the neuro just wanted to placate me. I'm going to get a referral from the PCP to pain management or something, to find out about getting the spasms under "control". If they can be controlled, I can force my near useless body to exercise enough to lower my cholesterol levels, without setting myself up for an extreme tearing to a tendon or ligament in my body that will lay me up for a couple of months.

It's like the one thing I have been asking doctors for help with for the past 12+ years is the one thing they have yet to address effectively. And frankly I'm tired of it. And if the answer happens to be there's simply no viable treatment to control them, well so be it. But don't just keep upping dose on medication that's doing nothing! Or tell me how they could give me something stronger but it might make me into a drooling ape... Especially when I've already taken that "stronger" medication and no, no drooling ape here just hyper-active person whose still suffering severely from spasms.

I have tendons sticking out of my ankles like little bones from where the sheath covering them has been stripped away and balled up on itself until it is protruding from the ankle. It looks like I broke the darn thing in five different places. And trust me it doesn't just "look" painful, it very much so IS painful. The same with my knees, and my left elbow and left wrist. And yeah such if I want it to "look" better and feel slightly better, I could take a soft blow hammer and give them a good whack to break down the balled up sheathing and remove the pressure to the nerves that it's currently causing. Old fashion cure, whack the crap out of it. The body will take care of the wasted sheath after you break it up enough, or over time it will also dissolve it. I'm going for the overtime because while I do have an extremely high tolerance for pain, smacking myself on purpose with a hammer seems a bit beyond my current sensibilities.

Don't worry I still might go to such extremes if it means the pain will reduce slightly. Might even try it on my toes to see if I can't straighten them out as they now seem to be perma-curled. If whacking excess sheath lining takes care of pain, maybe whacking and breaking some toes will unlock the muscles holding them curled. I mean why bother with medication if you have a hammer available. Just whack away all that ails you right?

See now that is being a hysterical little girl with a whittle boo-boo whose making it a bigger deal than it needs to be. Obviously one should not take a hammer and quite literally beat their muscles into submission. But we'll see what the PCP has to say about me going to pain management and trying out the medication pump thing.

Sorry for the rant, but I really had to get that all off my chest as I now try and weigh the options of finding a different neurologist or keeping with the same ID 10 T that my husband seems to love since I'll be cured in 6 months under his care and live to be 90 (let alone the fact that majority of my family members have all died in their 80's without any major medical histories).

I'm just frustrated being half blind, my peripheral vision is shot once more, my eyes are still seeing everything in triplicate, half my body can't decide if it wants to be in massive amounts of pain or numb or both, and the other half just wants to be in pain. I have things poking out of places that shouldn't be poking out. And despite being a college graduate with multiple degrees as well as 37 years of age I have a neuro who is talking to me like I'm a 3 year old who is just being overly dramatic about a whittle bit of pain.