Okay so I'm in a slightly better mood now that I've seen my PCP. She is sending me for pain management to see about possibly going the surgical route for my muscle relaxants. It was something my pain management doctor had suggested in the past but at the time I was still looking at the risk to benefit and a little leery, especially because you're talking about something going right into your spine. Like a needle going directly into your spinal fluid... and while yeah sure there's a low occurrence of people having terrible side-effects from it. It can lead to complete paralysis, infection of the spinal cord and even the brain because there's that little rent in the blood brain barrier where the needle is.

It'd be like winning the world's worse lottery to have those side-effects, but I've not been that lucky in life that I was quite to the point 6 years ago of saying "yeah sure I'll roll the dice!" Now even though my luck hasn't improved at all in life, at least the symptoms have reached a point of where I don't really care. My current situation really can't be any better than whatever the potential complications can hurt it is, so now I'm ready to be signed up.

I still will have to see a consultant about it, and go through a lumbar puncture as they "try" it and see if directly injecting the muscle relaxants has any added benefit over me taking the pills orally, but it's a much needed and possibly long overdue start to the process. And we'll see from there. I can only hope that getting it directly helps because if not, well.... I suppose there's always botox, but given the sheer number of muscles involved (all of them) I don't think that's truly a viable option, but again at this point, about ready to even say sure where do I sign for consent on that even.

I dunno, just reaching desperation status at this point. But hey when I reached that point with the migraine, they found Imatrex to kinda sort not really all that well, work for me, but it was still an improvement over everything else, including letting the local hospital inject me with benedryl and sending me home with the very nice allergic reaction of tripping (like illegal and illicit drug use kind of tripping, not stumbling) Where I still had the migraine but got to distract myself from the pain by watching Marvin the Martian play with my cat. And the doctor still let me be released from the hospital even though I then insisted his name was Lurch, and kept asking about the rest of the Adamms family, so it's not like they didn't know I was tripping when they sent me home, and let me walk out the front door chasing after a gremlin, shouting out to people "Who fed him after midnight!!! You can't feed Gizmo after midnight! Lurch come help me!" Love the local hospital, and so thankful I didn't go into anaphylaxis after that.