I need to let go
I need to say STOP
I need God to push me around a bit
I can't do it all
And I get no help
And this woman has been the rock for this family as far back as I can remember
It is time for me to laugh smile be happy
Not to worry worry and tell my children to stop
A time has come when enough is enough
Being pull in all directions go others and loosing myself
is not what I want to allow anymore
I need to not pick up the phone
I need not to help them figure things out for them
They all have their own journey so let them be Eva
Let them not dump on me when crap hits the fan
This is my life
The one life on this earth
As my body rots I must feed my spirit and continue to take care of me and MIT let others hurt or take my happiness from me
I need to make me first after praising my Heavenly Father
I need to laugh I miss laughing
I need positive energy in my life
With Jesus Christ my constant everything
I have no true support I know I need
And it hurts my feelings I can be forgotten that quickly
My baby sister who has become my rock
We both call upon Jesus Christ and accept what is put before us an leave the rest behind
Happiness is my goal to laugh
A huge belly laugh
That would last and last can be a good thing
Laughing my medicine
I am responsible in what I let in my life
No more depression
I will take what Heavenly Father has in store for me
I will try and do things with laughter
I miss laughing
Where did it go
Where is that hard core belly laugh
I have to capture it back
I will let the doctors do their crane I will try and bring laughter back into my life
One way or another
The spring weather is here
It feel awesome to watch the world tilt and watch the sun get closer and closer
To all who know me
I wish you all a belly laugh in your day
I will get what I need when I let go of the garbage
Not only mine but my families garbage
Enough already
Enough
No more dumping your problems on my lap and think its
"My job"
Done with this strategy that does not work
Because they still want to do things their own way
Until they throw in the towel and understand they cannot get sober alone
I have to step back and not get tangled in their chaos
And not take on any help until they work on themselves
It is so painful to watch
So I have decided to not be involved physically either
Out if sight out of mind to a point
But I must for me
And my own happiness
Happiness laughter love and be loved in return
Accept I must take this road alone
I will
I will push myself into a new way to start my very painful mornings
I cannot count on them
I must let this set in
I have me my Heavenly Father
The man we know as Jesus Christ sent in his image for our sins and debt in full
As this body get older may my spirit increase in strength to get younger in spirit is to get closer I get to be with Heavenly Father
This is for sure the way I want to live my life as it comes closer to and closer to a youthful spirit be what I achieve
I am going to work on my happiness and to put that smile on my face
No more sadness
No more bad news
No more sitting on the potty
May depression be trumped by happiness and laughter
Laughter
For us all
Blessings to us all
Amen
Me