Hey All,

I've posted on here before, largely due to anxiety about hitting my head. I recognize the title of this thread seems a little contradictory and it is - this post continues with a question about anxiety around hitting my head, but also I'm, I think, more open to suggestions for "normalizing"; life than ever before and would love to hear whatever comments you all are willing to share.

This past Tuesday, I was skateboarding on some basketball courts. I don't jump down stairs, I don't do handrails. I don't do any of the crazy risk-taking associated with skateboarding. However, regardless of whether or not you're jumping down stairs or just cruising around on flat ground, falls do happen in the sport.

That said, I was skateboarding on an outdoor basketball court, landed a trick and fell backwards, landing promptly on my butt. My head didn't make contact with the pavement whatsoever, but it was, of course, a hard hit - I sort of "slipped" backwards landing on my tailbone. I wouldn't say I had a "dazed and confused" feeling, but I did have to sit there and acknowledge that it hurt and that the fall was harder than I expected it to be (while I'm still young, I'm not 15 anymore). I felt myself start to get hyper-vigilant about having fallen, told myself it was ok, and continued with skateboarding for another 10-15 minutes until going to meet a friend for dinner. I felt fine for the rest of the night.

The next day I felt fine(ish) - could feel my mind wondering about the fall and whether or not anything happened. The next morning, I woke up with a mild headache, felt spacey, and feel like my thinking slowed down.

I'm trying to convince myself I'm fine - as I sit here, I feel a little spacey and a little unfocused, BUT this has been how I've felt after even minor things like 1-2 inch heel drops, or bumping my head a little bit on a freezer door.

What do you guys think? Could the fall have caused whiplash, or sent some force up my spinal cord? I know we can train our brains to react instinctively to certain situations with certain responses - I'm generally a pretty risk-averse person to begin with and don't want to start doing anything crazy, just feel comfortable doing the things in my life that have always been a part of it and felt "normal."

Like I said, I've been trying to convince myself I'm fine, that something happening is possible but unlikely - but every time I try and engage in things that feel normal or "let my guard down" and go back to living life, I get knocked down again or go through something that makes being "present" harder to give myself permission to do.

Aside from whether or not you all think anything happened (which is a question I'm interested in), how have you all gone back to normal, or as close to it as you can?

As always, thank you for the thoughtful comments and any opinions/advice you are willing to share.

Sincerely,
Squash291