I have delt with depression all of my life and have been suicidal also.
I know a lot of what you are going through.

As Chemar says, you should find a Church to join. I know that is easier said then done also. Like you, I still have trouble leaving my home and I have an implant put in me for depression. It was put in me in April and this month has seemed like it is doing nothing for me. My depression has been through the roof and I find it hard to leave the house also.

I do go to councelling. I have been in it for over 8 years to try and get to where I feel like I'm normal. I have never felt normal. I have been ill all of my life also and I hate being around people. Even though I have good family and good support, it doesn't change how I feel.

My husband use to go places and let me stay at home. When we first got married in 72, I would go everywhere with him and I went to work and supported our daughter after he became disabled and thought I was leading somewhat of a normal life. Back in 87, I had a setback and went right back into the black hole that you are in now.

The greatest thing that helps me is councelling. If you find a good councellor that will listen to you and you will soon find you have a friend in him or her.

i hope you do find a way to reach out in your neighborhood for some help to get you through these hard times.

You will love it here. There are so many good people here that will work hard at helping you through what you are going through.

This is my home away from the home I have trouble leaving so I know this will be a good place for you to come to and talk to people and fill the void you have by not being able to get out.

Like you, I don't even like to go to families homes. I haven't been back home in over 4 years because I can't do it. I have just came to accept where I am now. I'm ok with it and that's what you have to do is become ok with where you are at right now.

I hope you do stay here with us.

Ada