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Junior Member
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Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: New York
Posts: 53
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Junior Member
Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: New York
Posts: 53
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Quote:
Originally Posted by okrad
I am down, too. One year after. I am now "normal" but had been above average. So being normal is great but it's not me.
I lost all my friends. I have zero friends and have thrown myself into philosophy. It's all I can do. THey were used to being alone. Demosthenes shaved half his face to make SURE he would not go into public. Imagine that! So I am trying to want to be alone.
I had a good suportive friend, but then, when they heard me talk and that I am not "special" or like they thought brain damage was, they got all spooked because i still sound smart. They were such a support . It hurts so bad.
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Hey, what do you mean by "now normal" but before "above average"? I totally understand the isolation though. I have been through years of it, feeling like I physically couldn't keep up with my friends anymore. The internet and audiobooks became my only outlet. Family were there at times, but it's not the same as having peers. It caused a seismic shift in my personality and sense of self because before I was *very* into both performance and sociality before. But one of the biggest changes I want to make is to find a way back into social connectedness
Still, don't think I would want to go as far as Demosthenes… wonder what his reasoning was.
Are you saying you think your friend drifted away because of the TBI? It's tricky. Even forging friendships with other people who have impairments is hard… on the one hand they are more understanding, but on the other, health gets in the way and it is difficult for each of you to meet regularly. Do you have any professional counsel?
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-First TBI in 2011. Iron cellar door closed on my head. Undiagnosed PCS, and was unaware of anything regarding TBI at the time.
-2nd TBI in August, 2014. Fell skateboarding and hit head on pavement.
-3rd TBI in November, 2014. Hit in the head at work with a dish rack with full strength by a large employee. CT scan normal. Diagnosed mTBI, PCS, PTSD, migraine with aura, and chronic depression. Symptoms have included: quite severe visual disorders, hearing loss in left ear, lethargy, brain fog, dizziness, disordered sleep, hallucinations and "exploding head syndrome", neck and shoulder pain, migraines, headaches, loss of emotions, all forms of cognitive deficiency, loss of reading/verbal ability, sound/light sensitivity, anxiety, panic attacks. Most notably are a general loss of identity and the disillusionment with the world accompanying trauma. But on the other hand, a new and heightened awareness of the nature of self, others, and of suffering itself.
-As of December, 2015, am still experiencing visual disturbances, memory and speech problems, balance, sensitivity and overstimulation issues, along with the trickier to pinpoint cognitive changes, but feel that I am no longer clawing my way through a waking hell, so feel much better about being alive. Hallucinations and panic attacks are gone (thank God!), getting much better at reading and writing, and remembering/planning my daily tasks. Hopeful for further recovery, but thankful to be at least at 50%.
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