Hi and welcome,
This is a great group. None of us want this or the attention or drugs, or anything else we have to put up with. I'm sorry your wife is acting that way. sometimes just the fear and lack of knowledge can cause someone to act in less than a stellar way. Speak to her and tell her how much it hurts you when she says these things. Just remember that we can not be held accountable for someone elses actions or words, only the way we respond. My husband went thru a period where he also said things that hurt. No we are not druggies nor are we lazy. I sat him down and told him that it needed to stop. He thought he was being funny and trying to make me laugh (dud). At one point, when he was going on about weight gain I looked at him and said I'm sorry I only have rsd, maybe with any luck I would develope cancer. He didn't understand what I meant, so I told him that at least with cancer, people understand, and the weight loss you have with it would make him happy. He has never said anything about it again. Sometimes it just takes making them realize that what they say hurts. Give it a try. He is now great about everything. we are all here for you. Keep us posted.
Mary