You know what I appreciate about our little group?? We help ourselves and we help each other. But what do you do when someone needs help and steadfastly refuses to get some.

What do you do when you are sitting outside with friends and neighbors. And your friend is a diabetic (just like I am), only she's 300 lbs and her sugar is through the roof. She knows I went to Cornell, I got into the diabetic protocol, I get all testing supplies and insulin for free (as she could have). I once told her "come with me, you'll get the best care (I mean, it's Cornell Medical Center in NYC, for goodness sake). She's had heart problems for years. But she said "no, I don't want to travel all that way into the City". I said "we can go with my Acess-a-ride, it will cost you $2.00) She said "No, I don't want to go". So I said nothing more after that.

Then I developed Diabetic Neuropathy, with all the tingling, buzzing, burning. I told her. She said "oh you have neuropathy"?? I then said: "but don't you remember, when you last went to the doctor, for your stomach, he told you that you have a diabetic stomach? She has all the symptoms. Her doctor told her to lose weight, control her blood sugar and take regulan. The only thing she does is take the Regulan. So last night we are sitting outside and she's complaining about her stomach. I told her, very politely" "But you have been told you have a diabetic stomach, what don't you understand"?

Her response: "What the heck (she didn't say heck), do doctor's know? He doesn't know my body". (She had initially asked me to look up diabetic stomach, gastroparesis, etc. which I did, and carefully explained how important it is to control your blood sugar). She pooh-poohed this and last night told me "you think I have a diabetic stomach" I said "no, your doctor does". She got mad and said "what does he know, he doesn't know anything" Her sugar is 180 to 195 every day. She says "well, that's good for me, because it used to be 250". She also said (and she weighs over 300 lbs). she said: "well, I know I can carry this weight, because I can walk, if I gain any more, then I won't be able to walk, so I can carry this weight".

Will someone please explain this way of thinking to me? She saw me go from my obese self to the person I am now, who can climb the stairs to her second floor apartment (she does so with much difficulty). She saw me go from a sugar reading of 400 to my present reading of 120 (and I work on controlling my blood sugar every day). They put me on Lantus, she takes 7 pills a day and won't go on insulin. Okay, that's her business.

But to sit across from me and start yelling "what does a doctor know about my diabetes?? when he's her doctor?", well, I just don't get it. By the way she's 63, and people think her 6'2 inch 65 year old husband is her son. Her husband looks about 45 to 50. Great body and can eat anything he wants. It's frustrating for her, this I know.

And her cardiologist called her the other day and told her to come in for an ultrasound of her legs. Her husband told her "that's just BS, he just wants to make money". I told her. "he wants to check for Peripheral Vascular disease, it's a non-invasive test, why not go and get it over with (I mean, she goes for colonoscopies, etc. with no problem) but anything else, (and she's also a cancer survivor, that's what I don't understand).

Her doctor once told her very sweetly (she told me), "hon, you must lose 100 lbs." She got up, screamed at him that her weight was none of his business and she walked out.

So I'd like to know what I'm supposed to say the next time we sit outside and she goes "my stomach is killing me, I had to take 3 pepsid, I can't digest anything". And she has begun swatting invisible insects on her legs. I do that all the time because I have neuropathy. God Forbid I open my mouth and tell her that she might have this. Forget about it.

I would love to have a generic comment or should I just shut my mouth. I know I can't help her but jeez, when it's right in front of your face, and you see that I have neuropathy, and I'm taking B-12 methyl, and then you go, "what does my doctor know, he's just a man, he doesn't know my body"., well, you want to hit her in the noggin.

Mel