The part I loved about the pain clinic at cleveland was the support of the people suffering. That was the same at my eating disorder treatments. The caring,listening,and not feeling so alone can make a huge world of difference and that sometimes I think is a huge benefit to the pain. I'm sorry for all your going through but reaching out for support and saying how you feel is so important. Even journaling about it. There is no right or wrong feeling. I hope you hang in there and take 1 day at a time.