1775 days, 5 years coming up in 50 days.

I don't think I ever felt this down, hurt, and depressed after getting sober. I won't bore you with the details, but when my wife said to me - when I was driving her to the airport for a holiday in Italy - that she couldn't wait until she could drink the first Grappa after arrival, I knew my marriage was over.

Obviously, that's not the only reason - although I don't think I'm being childish when I say it shocked me - but the way it was said, and the defiance when I told her it's not something that is on my radar, makes me despair.

I will lose the house I spent a *lot* of work on, my garden, my piano, and probably my pets, but somehow I need to make my self-respect survive.

On the up side, I have no intention to restart the day-count, sobriety is just too important to me.