"
I'm a terrible selfish person. "
Pamela, I hope that it is OK if I offer you a respectful challenge about this.
From everything that you have shared here you are an honest person. But, as far as I can see you are about minus infinity as far as selfishness is concerned.
You do a lot of domestic tasks around your home. You care for DB. You care for the members of his family. You care for your dogs.
I see a pattern there which is that you are a completely non-selfish person
.
That is good that your headaches seem to be improving - I hope that this continues
.