Greetings. I haven't been on this site in a while. My internet service got so bad I was essentially offline for months. Also I developed an aversion toward things that remind me of illness, including this site even though I like reading others' stories etc. Then, luckily, a new telecom company moved into the area so now at least I can get on at home whenever I want.

I tapered successfully off the lorazepam. July 1st was my first true zero day. I was in good spirits, though my moods would wobble from time to time and my sleep was erratic. But on the 13th for some reason it all collapsed: self-feeding anxiety attacks when trying to sleep. The rest of July and August 1st were as miserable as any time in my life. Since then my daily routine has been strictly limited to staying home except for essential errands--lying around a lot, trying to meditate etc. And still taking those hot baths that ironically led to my accident January 3rd last year.

Luckily a new doctor I finally got to see after months of waiting prescribed me clonazepam (Klonopin) and sertraline (Zoloft.) At first, believe it or not, I didn't intend taking either one of them except maybe clonazepam in a crisis. Well, by Monday August 1st I changed my mind. I started the clonazepam in the middle of that night and sertraline the next day. Over the ensuing months I found the clonazepam remarkably gentle and even more effective than the lorazepam (0.5 mg is equal in strength to 10 mg Valium). The sertraline acted slowly and the dose had to be increased. On December 22, after steady improvement and increases over preceding months, I started 150 mg. I seem to get better and better as dosage increases--side effects notwithstanding. As of now the only side effects remaining are watery blood and maybe a little sexual dysfunction . .One measure I watch closely is how much clonazepam I need to take to get to sleep, charted daily on a calendar. A good day uses only the baseline dose, just under a quarter tablet (about 1/8th mg).

During this period I learned cognitive behavioral and dialetical behavioral techniques (CBT and DBT), including mindfulness (Vipassana?) meditation. I also rebuilt my long-distance walking (but no more recycling). I cover about 49 miles a week! It pays to be in great shape.

Already this is out of date. I hope to be at the site more in the future and see how everyone else is doing etc. There is much to share.