I attempted to tie a rope around my neck over 8 years ago. I ended up calling the suicide hotline in my area, and about 5 days before, kept calling my psychiatrist. I knew something was wrong. She didn't help me at all. She was just going to let me die. She finally sent me to the hospital on the sixth day of my attempted suicide.

The night that I really did attempt a suicide, I was so depressed, that I felt like I was in a black hole.

I had a twine rope wrapped around my neck and wrists, ready to pull and kill myself, and then all of a sudden, something just hit me. I sort of stopped and called the suicide hotline, right before I actually pulled the rope.

Next thing I knew, the next day I was in the hospital and was there for about 5 days. My diagnosis was Bipolar II, PTSD, and GAD at that time.

I've had been to the hospital only 3 times since then, and that was about 8 years ago.

But ever since then, I've been doing really well, even though there had been a lot of medicine changes.

According to my therapist, she says that I am now in remission, but sometimes I don't feel that way.

My friend knew about that rope and because I was being stubborn at the time, I wouldn't give up that rope, until 6 months later.

Sometimes I wish I still had that rope. But I try to cope as well as I can.

Has anyone been in that same position and if so, how did you handle it?

tinytiny63