I'm not going to ask the management here what they would charge us if we left the apartment a mess. I imagine it would be a lot. One way or another, we will leave it clean.

After all the work I did, when they came to do the walk through of the apartment yesterday, they didn't even LOOK in the "cat room" LOL!!!

I was really having A LOT of anxiety because the "cat room" needed the most work and I couldn't get anything done in there because there was so much **** in my way. So, all the work I did over the weekend was hardly a waste of my time- I just didn't need to do it at breakneck speed and hurt myself doing it. There is still a lot of work to be done in there, but I've made A LOT of progress.

I wish I could just be satisfied with all that progress and allow myself to rest and heal, but I'm manic, so sitting still and not cleaning is torture. The online apartment search isn't providing me with the same kind of satisfaction as cleaning.

Aside from running errands, I did manage to sit still long enough to develop some insight into my situation. I can't continue to clean to the point where I keep hurting myself, and being manic is very dangerous for me. Medicating may mean I lose some time cleaning because of sedation, and I won't be as productive once I come down, but I have to break this episode.

My pdoc is on maternity leave until next month and I don't trust the covering one to mess with my meds. So I'm going to do exactly what my pdoc has done as step 1 since I maxed out on Seroquel, and increase my gabapentin from 300 to 400mg. I'll give it a couple of days and if I don't start to come down, I will make an appointment with the covering pdoc.