Karen: (I believe that is your name, right??)

Thanks for the nice words. I try and keep a good perspective on life. If I didn't I would have shot myself a long time ago. But I can't let myself think that way. You see, we all have our stories, our struggles, and our losses.

I would rather laugh out loud (that is if I am able to laugh out loud), some days we have pain and really can't find anything to laugh about, but other days, the sun is shining, we go to Dunkin Donuts, we say hi to the neighbors, and we live our lives.

I had a different goal, when I became a mom 26 years ago. That goal did not turn out. We no longer have our son in our lives. Believe me, I could have ballooned to 400 lbs with no problem whatsoever. But honestly, from watching what the morbidly obese go through on the Discovery Channel, well, I learn from watching these tv shows. I knew someone that Richard Simmons helped. He weighed over 800 lbs. He got down to 200 pounds. He is now back to 800. It's a real disease, this over-eating. I thank god that something clicked in my brain because believe me it's very easy to self-medicate yourself with Ding Dongs. I don't believe I can over medicate myself with Squash, lol.

So when I find something amazing, like that Land of the Giants squash, I knew I had to post it. I made videos and I sent it to my sister-in-law. She just called me. She said "oh my god, where did you get that thing, that can feed your family for a week. I said "and that was the baby of the bunch".

I can just see myself living in Nebraska, raising my veggies behind the house, growing my own tomatoes, growing my own 6 foot squash. Taking my methyl B-12 (because I don't eat any beef whatsoever). I could live that life. I could also NOT see myself milking cows, raising chickens and picking out eggs from underneath the chickens, nor do I see myself with squirrells, raccoons, whatever (like some of my friends who live in New Jersey).

So I would like to live in a condominium on the 14th floor (where there would be no ants or waterbugs), and then I would have a hot house, where I could grow my own fresh vegetables. Oh, and a pool on the roof top would be acceptable. Now I know that will never happen.

So I go to Dunkin Donuts with Alan and have breakfast. We take what we can get in this world. That's the best we can do. Other people have much less.

As a matter of fact, five minutes ago while I was talking to my sister-in-law (Alan's sister), after oohing and ahhing over my giant veggie, she said "I just heard some bad news", It seems that Alan has a second cousin (we don't know her), She is from Brazil and two months ago, she went back to Brazil for a gastric bypass (she was not morbidly obese, and that's probably why she couldn't get it done in the states). She was just chubby (so I've been told). She was 47 years old. So she has the gastric bypass and comes home from Brazil and she's fine. So last week, she decided, because next year she's throwing her son a Bar Mitsvah for his birthday, she decided she wanted to look as best as she could. So last week she flew to Brazil for a face-lift, an eye lift, a nose job, the whole thing. Guess what happened?

The next day, she had a heart attack and she is now still in Brazil, on life support and is brain dead. She leaves behind an 11 year old and a 7 year old. Her husband is now there trying to find out how to pull the plug because it seems in Brazil, it's done differently over there when you want to take someone off life support.

I just listened and I thought to myself. Now there are two young kids with no mother.

So whatever we have, we thank our lucky starts because there are always some other people out there who lose it all in five minutes.

Imagine, first you get a gastric by-pass, two months later you want to look better and younger, so you fly to Brazil, and you get a face lift, and the next day you are on life support. Jeez. That is exactly what happened to the singer James Brown's wife. She went in for cosmetic surgery and she died.

And I've been telling Alan "oh, if I only had the money, I'd get my face done".

I'm not saying it any more.

I'm eating my veggies.

So hope you have a good day and keep smiling.

Melody