I suspected she wasn't going to come home
Having a week from hell
Trying to integrate some family
Mother her in the beginning
Going to meetings
Taking
Rather hanging on Corissa
Not that she couldn't use one herself
Went nuts on Wednesday
Then my youngest comes home saying she was traumatized
Sorry if I wasn't in the comforting mood
As I am tired of them crapping on me
Again faith is what I'm hanging on here
Really now
Traumatized
How many times have you seen her in that state
I barked back
And what am I suppose to do about it anyhow
A revolving door I cannot have in the delicate situation that is at my doorstep
A mother who truly is nuts
And I mean that literally
It's one thing to have the genetic problems
And fries her brain with that stuff

Now here is the worse of all
Saturday morning a day I hoped we a family Eva only knows
And now on a rocky point because of her
Rather take responsibility of her life
Return back to school and finish
Something she said she was ready to do
Using all hurtful lies of excuses
About not going to work
Even part time
And what infuriates me
It is so little I ask
So little
That she cannot say it be the reason she doesn't have a life
She hasn't done her laundry in about a month
I will leave it at that
But when she takes Eva to school
She wakes with the phone in her hand
Dosnt like making her lunch
And have learned twice recently she went to school without lunch
Heartbroken
Corissa was catered to like a princess
Cheese omelette with bacon toast
her favorite apple peeled sliced thin(Granny Smith) orange juice
Not to mention the lunches I sent her off with
An extra one as they would eat her lunch
I tell her how can you forget
I cannot understand what is so hard in the things like taking her to school with an Uber
How much easier can that be
It's become the waking up going on phone
Sit down while I get Eva dressed do her hair
What it takes to send her off looking prepared for the day

Ready
Never came home
I had to drive her to school
Not an easy thing with all the bump humps on the road to keep one from speeding
So difficult on my body
I take my meds between 6:30 and 7:00 in the morning
Just cannot get over all of this
Having to now drive her to school
Oh because I don't bleed
This i get
I have my cross to carry
Not complain about it
I just hurts so badly on every conceivable level
And am numb
Numb
Took off
Where is she
Is she alive
Me