I want oto thank everyone for there input. It all helps. I did apply for disability in the early stages twice and was denied twice. At that point I had no diagnoses, but I was put on permanent restrictions like no repetitive motion to the left hand, lifting restriction of only 2-3 pounds in the left hand and no sustained pinching or grasping with the left hand. Disability said that I could still work therefore they denied me. I gave up at that point because of my depression so I am afraid to go try again. I don't want to get anymore depressed than I already am. My husband will not go to church. He calls us bible thumpers. He beleives in god but he will not go to church. Don't get me wrong he is not a horrible man, its just sometimes he speaks before he thinks. I tell him how bad he hurts me, but he shows no emotion. In the 14 years that we have been married he may have shed tears 4-5 times. He does not show emotion. He just keeps on a plugging as he phrases it. I do love him a whole lot, it is just a tough road to travel for all of us because I am only 34 and had big plans to help him with his farm and do so many things with my family and in one instant all our dreams were shattered because of my injury. It is just not fair. I know life is not fair sometimes, but why me?

Tracy