Im at my wits end here
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. Around 9pm I was on my pc playing Battlefield 4 online. I was minding my own business and was about to logoff for the night around 930 ( I usually log off by 10pm everynight). About 920pm my mom starts yelling at me for no reason. Starts making threats about trashing my pc. I nearly lost it right then. I need my pc for the online college classes at the local college here which start in late aug 2017. Because with the way my anxiety is this bad I cant attend in person. My anxiety would get so bad I would fail. My PTSD, GAD and my heart issues would get so out of hand.......I dont even want to talk about it
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My mom knows of my issues. Plus my severe sleep disorders among my many health problems (both physical/mental) prevent me from getting a full time job. And finding a part time job is a problem itself. My sleep problems are a major factor which in turn are also influenced by my mental issues. My anxiety issues get so bad that I cant sleep without parts of my body suddenly tensing up so bad that I cant sleep. The longest amount of time without sleep because of this issues is about 3 days, of which I barely had 1 hour of sleep for those 3 days.
She knows my computer is my only method of keeping myself somewhat calm. I still even have anxiety issues popping up even when Im on my PC.
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I told my new therapist about my issues and that my computer is my only source of staying somewhat calm. I have to use my tens unit to help out so much that I went through 3 2032 batteries in 2 weeks because my anxiety was so bad
Right now my anxiety issues is still too bad. My arms feel terrible. I mean the tension is still so bad my arms feel like theyre being twisted/burned.