It is watching her having to adapt if it hard for me I know what Eva is feeling
Last night she says I'm praying that titti comes home right now tonight
I deleted her from texting so she would have to call
And guess what
No call for two days
I called her 19 times representing how old she is
Then left her a message
How she can respond to anyone else asap
Cause I can't even have a few words with her without her responding to her dings and pings
What happened to the children my child's age
I have come to learn it isn't just me
And I'm not out there in the world like I was so I don't see it
I have a hilghly intelligent young woman who took the wrong road and hasn't found her way home
On a road to self destruction
So hard for me to watch and go through while having to tend to Eva a innocent child who doesn't want nothing more but a family to call her own
I cry so hard in secretly
And I could be across the room and holding back not letting a drop fall from my eyes
And she says
Mimma are those happy tears sad tears or because your body hurts
This bothers me
All I want is for her to be a happy child
Not sad
And miss her BFF

I'm hoping that we get to see fireworks being on the 19th floor
Her favorite holiday is this very somber time
To think of the men women animals that die are maimed for life for our freedom
Where is the patriotism in the country do we forget 911 in my back yard watching with our own eyes
Truly I'm my back yard
The sacrifices of all nations
Buildings of the meaning of what we once could refer to this country as a "MELTING POT"
What ever happened to that true term
Where is the pride that comes with becoming a citizen of this great country
And I look at my child the children of the world and am frightened what the future holds for them
It isn't just my child so I have learned with no relief
But with sadness
The country who cannot look up to our elders and learn what they have and feed our minds with free speech not fictional stories
The hate that is being emmited into society pushed into tolerance is not the wythis country workes
We don't like or do like there is a process call election vote the issue in or out
Not tolerated behavior such as my child
I have done all I could do as far as suggesting what opportunities are available still trying to get her to get her diploma
This coming from a gifted child herself
My baby sister reminded me
And says "Eva I don't remember our mother or father ever offer us a car if we learned how to drive"
She asks
"Do you ever remember anything like that"
"Nope" was my response
So no high school diploma
No interest in learning how to drive
Hey when dad fills the account for these unsafe UBERS and gives her spending money
$50.00 each time
Money the root of most of her problem
It's been four days she hasn't returned as she left to a poetry show with her sister and was to return home but went to her friends patents home
So back to what I was saying
I'm calling 19 times
Se responds
Can you please stop doing that you'll blow up my phone
And I'm eating with Michelle and her parents
I said
That's when you excuse that and say that's my mom I need to take this
No that never came to her mind
And thank God it an emergency
It's the sick part that's screwing things up for me
Good 70% of my life changed on a physical level

I am deeply saddened at this ongoing problem since I became sick and couldn't drive her to and from school and she has no siblings
I wondering what kind of bird that is easy maintaincesomething
I have to get her something
Sad
Sad
So so sad
I will try to did a project for us to do