Talking in person to a Rabbi vs. a therapist may help, but I think I remember you said you felt awkward about that for some reason?
Unfortunately, patients have to request some preventative screenings now, unless they are
really high risk, but patients don't have enough information about what they should be asking for and when. I think it's due to insurance changes... Maybe AARP can help?
You have been less active since your stroke, so it's only natural that your weight has gone up. I gained 10 pounds pretty quickly when I became handicapped. Right now I'm about 16 pounds heavier than then, and at one point, was 28 pounds heavier. Neither of us can sweat off the pounds anymore.
I'm not sure what soups Donna is talking about, but Progresso soups are very good and filling. You may also want to try switching to desserts that are made with sugar alternatives. Some that are available are very good. I know it's not the same, but most people get used to the taste pretty quickly
Bizi is right... it sounds like you are blaming yourself for a lot of things that are/were out of your control. I hope that you can let some of those things go and be gentler on yourself
Lots of love,
Kay