Melody you are a lifter. I love your stories. I agree a lot is outlook and self talk. I have had before this many years of severe depression,anixety,ocd and without working on those areas of coping I would not be here today. You have to and though many times hard hold to hope. On a side note I have been all different weights well never heavy but being a number or size won't make you happy or better. It is important to be healthy though and to find the reason behind why you are not. Whether one is under or over there are reasons such as anxiety,depression and when you learn better coping it can help with the weight issue. I'm going to your house Melody you sound like a great cook. You got to make some yummy muffins though. Take care all and considerthis you have to laugh more. That is what they told me in treatment. Now its finding ways.