Hi mark... Thanks again. Yes I will get my doctor to order those labs you recommended on my next visit... Which will be my 4 week Celexa follow up day coming up soon.

Regarding my work.... I doubt they can accommodate me with a lighter stress load. They would say 'not fair to other nurses" blah blah blah. It can be a nightmare job and patient turnover is ridiculous... Admitting new ones as soon as we discharge and clean the room. We always tend to be short staffed to boot.

Yes I am very familiar with my fake bc pill. :-) i bought Dr Lees hormone books years ago . My doc offered me an estradiol pill but it was 15-20x higher dose than what I took and after I took one my whole body felt tingly all over. It was rather bizarre. So I went back to my bc pill. He thought that was just my anxiety (this was before my head slam) but didn't argue with me. I don't typically do 21 days straight... 7 off. I try to spread them out evenly over the entire month so I don't have a big gap without any.

I agree about time off and having a plan or many plans!! I find being outside helps me. Today I worked 3 hours picking up 5 dead trees we had cut down.

Mark.... Did you have the "disconnected from the world" feeling I have? I can't explain it
unfortunately. It's just a weird state of mind. An "off kilter" thing. You know what's sad....when I see people happy and laughing. It just makes my new reality more profound for me and I even feel envious. Isnt that sad.

I tried atenolol for a couple of days back in 2010 when I was having increased pulse and throwing PVCs. I was just going thru the change . My heart rate is not doing crazy things like it was the first 2 months after my injury. My sleep is still good. I tend to sleep in on my days off (which I never did prior).

Because I was a sobbing wreck first thing yesterday morning I did take a 0.25mg Xanax. I was not panicking or having nervous sensations in my body.... I just had high anxiety and was distraught with it all. I must say it took away my surreal state, but I noticed my joy for anything was still absent. It's awful not to laugh or feel happy.

The Xanax kind of gives me an "after headache" I can't explain it. About 9 hours in.... I can feel it and I don't like it. I may ask to switch to Klonipin or Ativan . Rest assured I will never abuse them. I'm terrified of meds.
Oh .... My BP is always fine. I check it at work and at Walmart and cvs. :-)

Did you have depression prior to your TBI? I did not. I'm assuming it's what I have now.
Has it been an ongoing issue? Meaning...-maybe part of the brain didn't heal ?
Thanks again. I appreciate y'alls input and support very much.