Quote:
Originally Posted by Mark in Idaho
OCD is just one form of anxiety. Hypochondria is a form of anxiety. I think you have created a storm of PTSD (another form of anxiety) due to your OCD pounding thoughts into your head. It take a skilled therapist and likely some powerful meds to help you break this cycle of damaging thoughts. They may have caused chemical damage, not physiological damage. By that I mean, your brain has been flooded with stress chemicals and has become hyper-reactive to these chemicals. Your brain needs to get clean.
"Afterwards I actually contacted a harvard researcher on brain damage and he said that all hits to the head actually cause some level of damage including sudden jam brakes in the car, football headers etc, but it is only with a large number that we notice symptoms. Thus my hypochondria."
This Harvard researcher is grossly overstating the case. He failed to tell you that it takes hundreds, even a thousand head jerks over a period of a few months from braking to cause a problem, unless they were all done in continuous succession.
There is a greater risk of injury to the upper neck and the problems neck inflammation can cause with symptoms that can be identical to concussion symptoms.
My question for you is simple.
How can we help you ?
What happened on June 16th ?
It appears your OCD and such are causing you to act in ways that are against your best interests in healing. Have you taken any steps to correct that ?
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I somehow managed to smack myself hard enough to get a concussion. It was accidental though as my arm jerked somehow, as being a hypochondriac, you know that my worst fear is getting brain damaged.
That day , for the first time in my life, I experienced very strange symptoms the next day. My vision was messed up, and I kept seeing visual artifiacts, my walking was strangely slanted to one side as if my balance was off, and when I tried doing an "IMPACT" test on myself, my verbal memory was significantly worse than usual (i couldnt even remember 4 words) and everything just felt weird. However I could still read and all and it wasn't that bad. It wasn't until after everything I mentioned in my initial post happened, that it got to this stage now. I believe I have aggravated it so so so badly , that my mild concussion at best, became something extremely harmful in the long term.
As for how I can be helped....frankly I don't know. I've been very suicidal as I find myself going from very intelligent to very dumb. But even beyond societal functioning, I can't even watch tv shows or movies without feeling nauseous, nor can I indulge in any of the small things in life that once made me happy (as I'm mostly feeling like im in a fog always, and not present - This only happened after I messed up my frontal lobe) I have almost no short term memory (i'll forget what I typed here after I press submit) and generally I am not really functioning at all.
I guess I came for support and to see if anyone has gone through a similar case like this. I just can't believe I caused this living hell to myself (but it wasn't exactly by choice, I was plagued with psychological illnesses). If I found out it was not brain damage , I would be the happiest person ever. But as it stands, my extremely bad symptoms seem to have a physical cause . I even started having migraines despite not having them my entire life.