I don't know really, they've been in and out and done a zillion tests and all these grand doctors keep. On coming in to see me, heads of departments etc etc. I have to have the Gallium Scan on Monday midday ish. They did a kidney scans yesterday. It's relly good she said, and appear to be in very good health. Not sure why they wanted to check the kidneys, but may have been because back in 2001 I had the ureter blockage with the tissue mass which grew back 4 times and 4 times they had to out stents in. Anyhow Kidneys rocking and rolling well. She did say I have a very distorted sized bile duct but I can't see how that can affect anything.

I still have a very high temperature, I have high white blood cell count, very high markers for infection apparently, but I also apparently have markers for this bone cancer.

Narula came to see me and said if it's infection we will get you out of hospital asap to rest from home to heal and then we will get you back in because you need to have fusion on L3/4 or it might have been L2/3. I was I confess a bit shell shocked by then. This all in top of top of getting the message this week I have to have the mammogram tissue ultrasound again as the mammogram I had shows the tissue has changed considerable snce last 2 yr check up and has mass dense tissue. Atm I feel as though I've just be told I've got cancer everywhere. I'm sure I haven't, I reckon I don't have it at all, it's just how I feel today.

Mum just been to visit, angry she is I haven't heard from my nieces, brother or sister. I said don't worry about it mum, after I'm gone they will suddenly realise all that I do. It just upsets her. I said while she was here, no idea where it came from, maybe I'm on strong pain drugs, but I looked at her and said, have you heard from dad. As soon as I said it I started to cry and so did she. He is on both of our minds. It will be 5 years on August 20th. I said I sorry I don't know where it came from and she said it's ok, just rest. We went for a gentle stroll after to walk her to the lifted I hobbled back with the walker. I'm just so jolly tired.

If not raining too heavy she will come tomorrow, xxx