HI Julie and Daniella:

How are you guys doing today.

I have a theory about the weight thing. Just imagine if we lived in a small community and everybody weighed 200 lbs. If someone didn't weigh 200 lbs, everybody would look at that person, point and say, 'oh, look at her, she doesn't weigh 200 lbs". And I am only talking about women here, because I don't believe that this applies to the way men think about their bodies. I might be wrong, but I don't think so.

It starts way back in school, when we try to fit in. Imagine being the only overweight kid in a classroom. Of course you are going to get bullied, picked on, named called, made fun of.. Why?? Because you stand out like a sore thumb. I wish we all had the mentality (way back when), to take a good look at ourselves in the mirror and say "Oh, I must lose this weight, I must be healthy, I don't want to get diabetes, or heart disease".

But adolescents do not do that. Adolescents look in the mirror and go "I want to look like Paris Hilton, or Lindsay Lohan".

And god forbid this kid doesn't remotely have the body type to be a Paris Hilton, or a Lindsay Lohan. BUT.... if this kid lived in a community where everybody weighed what she weighed, well, there would be no depression, no "I don't fit in", because she would absolutely FIT IN!!!

We grow up in a society that gives us super models on the tv who weigh no more than 85 lbs and then you have all the informercials for the fat burners, the hoodia, the diet pill, etc, then you turn on another station, and lo and behold, there's a commercial (I saw this the other night and could not believe my eyes), there was a commercial by Subway (it's a fast food deli thing just in case some of you have never heard of Subway). And they have a meat eater's special. It's a gigantic sandwich piled high with meat, etc.). Well, it could feed a third world country, believe me. And there were 4 people in this commercial (all normal size) and the young girl was trying to put the front of the sandwich in her mouth. Believe me, she couldn't have put that sandwich in her mouth if she tried. The whole idea was to send a message to all the over-eaters out there that there was a new kid on the block. A new sandwich, a new way to self-medicate.

We all do not have the same body types. And when the fast food people learn to stop selling these gigantic portions of these foods, and when they again (hopefully) put physical education back in the school (I used to go to gym every day), but when I watched Shaq's big challenge, I listened and he said that only 6% of the schools in the United States have a gym program. Well, I just could not believe it. The show also said that the next generation will not outlive the parents. It's really scary how things have changed in the 40 years since I finished school.

And whether you are an under-eater (like my friend), or an over-eater, like I have been most of my life, I truly believe that it has a lot to do with how we view ourselves, and how others view us. We yo-yo diet, which is really not good for our bodies, but we want to fit in. Why do we want to fit in? because 10 of our friends weigh 120 lbs, and we are the only person who weighs 200 lbs. It's very confusing. It was for me in school, and it was for me with my own mother who was 5 feet tall and weighed 110 lbs. She was one of 10 children and as a kid she was fat. She lost all her weight at age 18 and never was fat again. And then I came along and ruined everything for her.

She took me to hypnotists, she took me to doctors, she put the food in the closet, (I will never forget coming home from school, opening up the linen closet to get a towel and finding loaves of bread hidden behind the towels). I just stood there completely confused and said out loud "Mom, why are there loaves of bread in the closet". We had company in the living room, and she shouted "what do you expect, look at you, you'll eat everything in site".
Now that could not be true, because I NEVER ATE IN FRONT OF MY MOTHER. I ate out of the house so she would not say anything to me. But she just had to throw digs at me. Once, she and I went to Nathans with a friend of her's. I was 22 years old. I ordered those famous Nathan's french fries. I had a french fry and was about to eat it and she knocked it out of my hand (right in front of everybody), and she said "you need this like you need a hole in the head".

I never forgave her. For that or other stuff. But did I stop eating?? No!! I ate even more. It's what I did to cope with what she was throwing at me all the time. Only after I moved out, got my own place, fell in love, did I manage to control my weight. But it was very hard. I did it for the wrong reason. I did it for a boyfriend, to get in a dress, I did it because I had a wedding to go to.

But finally, as I grew up, and got older, I did it for the right reasons.

Sorry to go on and on, but when something clicks in the brain, it really clicks. And mine clicked about two years ago.

And I just made another batch of muffins that are to die for.

When you opened them up, the blueberries just popped out at you. Alan just sighed and looked at me and said "you are indeed the muffin lady".

lol

Melody