I knew I was improving as I increased the dose of Zoloft, but after I reached 150 mg./day, in late December, I seemed to break through: I started having dramatically increased streaks of days without problems getting to sleep. On such nights I had to increase my clonazepam dose. Spontaneous bouts of anxiety faded. I began feeling good about things. My sense of humor returned--at last the future looked bright. After February, each succeeding month was even better than the last, but I still had mild relapses from time to time. My wounded confidence demanded that I get back to 100 percent before I moved on.

Then my second doctor told me I needed to increase my daily dose of clonazepam. I understood his reasoning--I was still taking it, but a low dose, about .115 mg.--but I doubted it would work; but I figured, either he's got something or prove him wrong. So in April I ramped up to over a quarter mg. and held it for a month. Meanwhile the other doctor was ******--he wanted me to (eventually) get OFF the clonazepam.

But wouldn't you know it, near the end of the highest dose, I DID improve more; I put myself at 90+ percent. Slowly, I tapered the dose, but the weather got hot and I slowed it further, last summer's ordeal still fresh in memory. As of July 3rd (my 18 month 'anniversary') I was still at my old baseline dose.

The journey continues . .