Dear David,

I'm so sorry that you are going through so much, and are having such terrible anxiety-related episodes on top of it all. I think that maybe you were already a powder keg and the anxiety of the test, and the close quarters, just lit the fuse

It sounds like you're having some very scary experiences. The theme of everything seems to be a feeling of confinement. Even the sleep paralysis is a form of confinement. You are under a lot of pressure, so maybe there's some connection there- beyond the MRI tube

I went through a period where I had a lot of severe panic attacks where I feared physical harm. Xanax was really helpful, but I learned to mentally build up armor around myself in different layers to comfort myself...
Perhaps you can try to mentally peel off layers or lift off weights or burdens that you feel are confining you? Just an idea.

As far as the MRI: A larger or open machine is much easier for large people or those who are claustrophobic. Depending on what your doctor ordered, MRIs for MS can be very long, so since you need the test, I suggest asking for a sedative so you can get through it. In the US, most doctors have no problem prescribing a sedative for people with anxiety as long as they arrange for transportation. You could always do it solo if you think you have strong enough meds to get through it tho. It also helps to call the test site ahead of time to let them know you have anxiety issues (so hopefully you are treated better).

I'm so sorry you are looking down the barrel of a possible MS diagnosis
It may help to try to put less emphasis on the test itself. I know that getting a diagnosis can be life changing (because I have MS), but the test won't GIVE YOU MS. You either have it or you don't, and I hope you don't
But even if you do have it, MS is different for everyone, and a diagnosis doesn't mean that you will have a severe form of the disease

It's so hard to deal with the unknown. And unfortunately, panic attacks sometimes happen to people when they're already dealing with the worst. I'm sorry things are so bad for you right now, David. I hope that things start to improve for you soon