Forgive me for always being so whiney and negative but I can only share here. I live alone, I like to live isolated and insulated and only come to life when I am around my children, but that is only once every couple weeks and I refuse to ever complain to them and I want to keep that time special and always be their "Shelter from the Storm". You all are my safety and only here do I feel I can share. I don't want to suck the life outta you all but I am struggling.

The PN has been horrific! I had to get out to go food shopping as there was nothing here to eat. Clearly poor nutrition is not my friend so I got myself out to the market. Sometimes distraction and movement helps but not today. I had to leave with hardly anything.

I am so scared! Even my hand is going limp and numb. Crap...I am so despondent just now. The day food shopping becomes a major challenge then this is not a life worth living, nor the efforts to stay sober.

I am in serious need of a friend and words of encouragement.