SEcond Chances NT is my go to, whine away as much as you wish, but as a truthful observation, I don't read or see you as someone always whining. I read someone sharing honest torment. It is clear you are having a tough time & just as many of us do; we feel family, friends and loved ones are beyond our reach when it comes to baring our soul and revealing our inner fears. Sharing with complete strangers can be cathartic.

But I believe SC you've got this, pain is an insidious beast and a trickster, it will drive you to think you need something not in our best interests. You are stronger than you believe.

While I'm not an alcoholic, I live with one and I have suffered addiction to Xanax, or Alprazolam as it's known in some countries. In short it's a benzo drug. My PN sends signals to my brain, it joins up with my back pain & whispers take a Xanax, it will wipe the pain, you'll get some sleep, it will make you feel better. And it will for a short time, a very short time but before I succumb to sleep, many things will take place. Wakening will reveal the downside of my succumbing with a total memory wipe of the things I do while under the influence, the passages I write, the things I say and commit to & the things I have said and done. I will have zero recollection. Inevitably I will have been a biatch and a right royal pain in the butt to my dearest DB who has his own path and troubles.

Then there is the reality of facing the inevitable withdrawal all over again, just that 1 x 2mg tablet on ONE day only triggers many days of angst, anxiety, sweats, palpitations, irritation and in essence lots of unpleasant days ahead, sometimes weeks. I hate the drug with a passion, but I love the way it makes me feel, so I can empathise with you in your stating if life is a major challenge then life is not worth living nor the effort to stay away from this particular drug, or in your instance sober.

But trust me, the day will come where you will regret the choice to imbibe, or in my case succumb to Xanax. I started this passage with stating nerve pain is a trickster, I truly believe it works in tandem with the part of our brain which says doing this will make it better.

Have you heard of EMUAID® Ointment, I've read many reports it helps. my dad who suffered alcohol / diabetes caused PN used an ointment for many years, I can't recall what it was, he had special shoes to help him walk because he could no longer feel the ground, he used a foot bath once or twice a week & he used a foot vibration pad daily. I also remember he had a soft squishy ball he squeezed for a minute or so every hour during the day. Dad lived to 89, today it's 6 years since his death. Dad suffered with PN from the age of 50 so I wonder if it's a genetic thing as well, my sister and brother also suffer with it along with me. I think I recall you saying you don't like to take medication for your PN, maybe Emuaid might help, I've also read swimming & or in pool exercising can assist with PN.

I wish you well SC, hang in there and remember the brain is a powerful muscle, distraction techniques also have had modest success. We have supermarkets which allow you to go online and order your weekly groceries, toiletries etc, you choose your delivery day and time, all you need do is put it away on arrival. Something to consider for the days you feel unable/unwilling to venture out. You've got this, there is hope; hang on to it, days can be good, days can be fun (even when in pain).

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