There are days DB won't leave the house, I know they represent days of inner struggle. SC! Nothing wrong with staying inside, what needs doing outside will still be there tomorrow or the next.

Bring your dog inside and if into music pump up the volume, if you're a sit back and watch the TV, grab the dog and sit on the couch and kick back. I'm not sure why but DB finds Dry Ginger Ale or Ginger Beer mixed with orange, apple or mango juice soothes his often fractured nerves.

It's ok to be freaked out, it was an experience come upon you completely out of the blue. They are unsettling, and the feeling may well remain for a few days. But you did it, you white knuckled it out, so well done. Be kinder to yourself and less judgemental. Life is what it is, these addictions chose us, we didn't knowingly put ourselves out there and invite the devil into our own private hell. It will take time to recover. PN is a strange beast. Dad had it from 50 to 89, he refused to allow it dictate what he could and couldn't do. He was incredibly strong. I like to think I draw my strength from him. If you have a positive role model in your past, can you draw on them to help, if not an actual phone call, then just the thought. I have a felt heart at present given to me when I was last in hospital. (I posted a photo of it on one of the threads I contribute to) For some reason it's come to represent my dad, when I'm feeling angst, severe pain or an outright panic attack, I find holding the heart and smoothing/ rubbing it between my fingers brings me a sense of calmness.

Needs must, do whatever you need to do my friend, whatever you need to do to help you get through one day at a time, one hour at a time, one minute at a time. Hang in there