My father is a bipolar alcoholic. He's ridiculous. Occasionally my brother and I (my sister is totally estranged from him) get checks from him that I call "blood money," usually after he's done something inexcusable.

Do you feel like you father may be trying to keep you away because he's trying to hide something? Just a thought.

I don't blame you for being angry
But I hope you can manage not think about it too much/too often