Thanks Gerry.
I learned much from reading the other boards here on PN and SFN. I REALLY don't want to go the med route, and as good as it was reading other's stories, it is all pretty discouraging.

I wish I could turn back time but in truth I well knew what I was doing to my body at the time but I just didn't care. Now I am desperately trying to be well but fear it is too late.

That little bit of exercise really set me back but I assumed it would. I had terrible pain, internal shaking and horrific weakness. Today is not much better, but I may attempt to get to the gym. If I am there and cannot manage I will try to work on some of the universal type equipment.

Members on the other boards described my ailments exactly. Even the terrible fatigue was frequently mentioned, loss of muscle mass, and someone even described strange changes to their skin which I have also noticed but thought unrelated. It seems like all the weirdness with me is neuropathy related, even my eyes and brain zaps.

I have done much reading, actually compulsively, but I have the information I need and so won't dwell there anymore. Too much information can send me reeling. I have to believe that if I stay away from the booze I have a fighting chance for a near normal life. Of course I will continue to log on here daily. This is my lifeline and I think of you all throughout my daily struggles, and I want only the best for all of you. We all are victims. Some not by our own hand while others were damaged by alcoholism but regardless, we all have had our bodies ravished by a disease and no one deserves to live in this pain and with our QOL sacrificed. Just for today I will not drink.... just for today I believe my body and mind can heal. Onward.