It's a bit of a weird day. Happy BD to me, which also means I'm now a few hours older than my dad was when he died on his birthday. From an alcohol related illness, yes.

I know dates are just symbolic, but still. I have often thought about this moment, and now it seems a bit prosaic. Yet, when I was still drinking heavily, it seemed absolutely unavoidable that I would die around this time. I was totally ready for it, it was a done deal, that's what would happen. I saw the sad irony, the cowardliness even, but it took me a long time before I decided this wasn't going to be my future.

I think it's fair to say we don't always think clearly when under the influence.