Decision made. I can not fight the demons and the pain that sobriety has brought. I will need to try Gab and Ariptylin or whatever that med was. I did not have success in the past but that was several years ago and things have gotten far worse. I am on my knees but I am also on other meds which bring on side effects so they introduce more drugs to counteract those aide effects. I am soooo hesitant to add more but this pain is unsustainable and exhausting. I will try.