No approval yet. It has been a huge mess all along. The last time I called the SS help line, the person I spoke to said my application was just sitting there and couldn't get processed. She said, quite apologetically, that she thinks I will have to start my application over again.

So, feeling defeated by the whole process, I called a disability attorney. They were able to confirm what she said. They logged into the system while on the phone with me and could not see my application pending either.

Luckily, I had the printed form after submitting it with the application number. So they said they would take my case but I would have to pay them up to 25% of my settlement if I get approved. They sent me the paperwork and I sent them the printed copy. They said they would try to get that one to go through, effective December 2016, but if they can't they will have to start over with a new application.

If they can get the original to go through it will mean more money for them and the back pay for me so I'm crossing my fingers that they might be able to fix it. I'm not going to hold my breath though with all that has happened along the way so far.

I truly wish I could afford to just wait until I was 67 to get my full SS amount but I really need the medicare coverage. I'm paying for cobra through my former employer and even that is expensive. After that runs out I'll go on my husband's pension insurance plan and that is close to $800 per month just to add me on.

I'm just so tempted to just drop the insurance and wait it out but then I would have some sort of health catastrophe for sure and we would end up homeless.

The thing is also, I don't appear to be that sick like so many with MS. But I only have maybe two good hours a day. And I always try to put up a good front. In the neighborhood we tell people that I'm retired. I don't like to explain the MS, it's too stressful to me when people look at me like I'm just being lazy. I've never been a lazy person in my life, I've worked since I was 12 years old except for the years of being a hard working stay at home mom with our boys.

The good thing is I've really focused on budgeting. I've cut expenses drastically. My brain is still fairly good at handling money though I've made some mistakes even with that.

I feel like I should write an essay about all of this when it's over. "How not to apply for disability in 12 easy steps".